Play It Green

So someone came up with a list of “8 mascots that need to die” on armchairgm, and it not only contains potential environmental mascot du jour, the Stanford Tree, but another unofficial college mascot (for Dartmouth College), Keggy the Keg, who has an unexpected green leaning, as one commenter writes.

“Kegs are banned at Dartmouth unless you register them way in advance. It’s a huge pain, it sucks for the environment (we drink a LOT of cans and none of the frats try very hard to recycle) and most importantly, it’s an infringement on our freedom of beverage container choice for no apparent reason.”

So, there you have it. Keggy, is in fact, the eco-hero among mascots. Provided students use refillable cups.

Also, it’s a bit out-dated, but Keggy’s blog is amusing nonetheless.

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Nowhere are mascots more convoluted and complicated than the Olympics. And nowhere more environmentally appropriate. Unlike other sports franchises more concerned with mass appeal, the Olympic mascots offer a chance for host countries to flaunt their favorite fauna. In 1984, the United States bored the world with its hit-you-over-the-head-obvious Sam the (bald) Eagle mascot. Designed, of course, by the Walt Disney Company. The 1988 Calgary winter Olympics offered Hidy and Howdy, two polar bears. Amazingly, those names were selected from more than 7,000. While the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney offered a spectrum of Aussie natives including a kookaburra, a platypus and an echidna, it was the unofficial mascot, Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat that gained true cult status and the only mascot adorning the country’s official Olympic park. So what’s China unleashed on the world in preparation for this summer’s Beijing Olympics?

A collection called Fuwa that is equal parts complicated, environmental and brilliant: Beibei, the fish; Jingjing, the giant panda; Huanhuan, the Olympic flame; Yingying, the Tibetan antelope and Nini, the swallow. Together, the names form the Chinese phrase “Beijing huan ying ni” or “Beijing welcomes you.” But wait! There’s more! These characters not only represent China’s most popular animals, but also the five elements of nature: the sea, forest, fire, earth and sky. Your move, Russia.

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So “Bruins” are bears. Not a particular type of bear, just another word for one. And it’s interesting, when comparing the various mascots of the Final Four teams, in terms of the importance of their respective species, that only UCLA’s Bruins and Memphis’ Tigers have any animal kingdom importance. UNC’s Tar Heels refers to the area’s vast pine forests, and some Civil War quip, though the mascot itself is a ram. The Jayhawks (Kansas) are mythical creatures. Tigers (including the school’s mascot, the Bengal) do face the greatest threat ecologically—there are only 5-7,000 left in the world, thanks mostly to poachers who trap and hunt them for their supposed medicinal properties. Tiger whiskers alone are thought to be a poison (in Malaysia), an aphrodisiac (in Indonesia) and a childbirth aid (in India and Pakistan).

But it’s the Bruins that have captured my attention in the Final Four battle. The Yellowstone grizzly bear just lost its endangered species status last year when the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service removed them from the list as the bear population there is thriving—with over 600 living in the area. The success story doesn’t reach to the four other grizzly populations that are endangered. UCLA first adopted the grizzly as its mascot in 1920 (an improvement over a fuzzy campus dog named Rags), but had to contend with the same mascot name by the University of Montana in their Pacific Coast Conference. So they became the Bruins, and all of their mascots in the early years were actual bears. And actual female bears, to boot. The original “Josephine Bruin” was a small Himalayan bear that was later moved to the San Diego Zoo when she grew too big. The school wisely switched to costumed mascots that could actually appear in front of fans without danger of accidental dismemberment. And by 1967, they had a Josephine “Josie” Bruin alongside Joe Bruin getting the crowd going. For women, environmentalists and sports fans, it’s a win-win-win.

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Turns out there really is a mascot that’s about as environmentally friendly (and widely ridiculed) as a mascot could be: The Stanford Tree. The mascot has more of a storied past than most, including its surprising birth following a protracted battle over a mascot to replace a color (the Cardinal, not referring to the bird). The university community came up with a succession of would-be mascots to replace its offensive Indians in 1972, including the Robber Barons and the Thunder Chickens, but by 1981, they were stuck again with a deeper shade of the color red. Stanford’s marching band apparently wasn’t satisfied and when it introduced the tree, the mascot resonated with fans.

Each year, a new tree is created and the unofficial mascot has become a favorite target for opposing schools—particularly University of California Berkeley—who have stolen the costume and held it hostage and broken the tree’s branches during football games. And while the tree looks more male than female, it’s often donned by females, not all of them sober. In February 2006, Erin Lashnits was suspended for public intoxication while wearing the tree costume (and seen drinking from a flask). Replacement Tommy Leep was thrown out of the Stanford women’s basketball team’s NCAA tournmanet against Florida State University for dancing in the wrong place and hurling himself across the basketball court on a rolling chair. Stanford women take on Pitt March 29, and it’s the first time since 2001 that the Stanford men’s team has made it to the Sweet Sixteen—playing the Texas Longhorns on March 28. I’m rooting for the tree.

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Did you know the NCAA has its own green mascot? It’s called J.J. Jumper, a frog with no home team, who schleps around the country appearing at basketball games in the hopes of luring in legions of younger-than-college-age fans. The character was created in 1999 and as has been detailed on Slate, is relegated to the outside NCAA “fan festival” during the Final Four. Slate calls J.J. “the hardest-working, least-appreciated mascot in all of sports.” I have an interest in the phenomenon of mascots, particularly female mascots. While some teams have ambiguous mascots (like J.J. and “Stuff the Magic Dragon” of the Orlando Magic), most are male, even if they’re representing female athletes. Certain teams have tested the dual mascot theory—the Toronto Bluejays replaced former mascot B.J. Birdie with Ace and female counterpart Diamond in 2000. In 2004, the team dropped the female bird. The Milwaukee Brewers apparently once had a female “Bonnie Brewer” mascot from 1973 to 1979, a blonde bombshell who wore blue lederhosen and swept the bases:

This year, the Cincinnati Reds are bringing their own female mascot, Rosie Red, to join two already in existence (Gapper, a fuzzy red monster and Mr. Red, a baseball head man). All that’s being said is that some Disney minds are involved in the creative process.

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